 | It is never OK for force yourself on a woman, even if
| you think she was teasing you or leading you on |
| she says "no" and you think she means "yes" |
| you've had sex with her before |
| you've paid for her dinner or given her expensive gifts |
| you think women enjoy being forced to have sex or want to be persuaded |
| the woman is under the influence of alcohol or drugs |
|
| Rape is a crime of violence. It is motivated primarily by desire to
control and dominate, rather than by sex. It is illegal. |
| If you are getting a double message from a woman, speak up and clarify
what she wants. If you find yourself in a situation with a woman who
is unsure about having sex or is saying "no," back off.
Suggest talking about it. |
| Do not assume you know what your partner wants; check out your
assumptions. |
| Be sensitive to women who are unsure whether they want to have sex.
If you put pressure on them, you may be forcing them. |
| Do not assume you both want the same degree of intimacy. She may be
interested in some sexual contact other than intercourse. There may be
several kinds of sexual activity you mutually agree to share. |
| Stay in touch with your sexual desires. Ask yourself if you are
really hearing what she wants. Do not let your desires control your
actions. |
| Communicate your sexual desires honestly and as early as possible. |
| If you have any doubts about what your partner wants, STOP, ASK, CLARIFY. |
| Your desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are within your
control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex. |
| Do not assume her desire for affection is the same desire for intercourse. |
| Not having sex or not "scoring" does not mean you are not a
"real man." It is OK not to "score." |
| A woman who turns you down for sex is not necessarily rejecting you as a
person; she is expressing her decision not to participate in a single act at
that time. |
| No one asks to be raped. No matter how a woman behaves, she does not
deserve to have her body used in ways she does not want. |
| "No" means no. If you do not accept a woman's
"no," you might risk raping someone whom you thought meant
"yes." |
| Taking sexual advantage of a person who is mentally or physically
incapable of giving consent (for example, drunk) is rape. If a woman
has had too much to drink and has passed out, or is not in control of
herself, having sex with her is rape. |
| The fact that you were intoxicated is not a legal defense to rape.
You are responsible for your actions, whether you are sober or not. |
| Be aware that a man's size and physical presence can be intimidating to a
woman. Many victims report that the fear they felt based on a man's
size and presence was the reason they did not fight back or struggle. |
